Friday, January 14, 2011
A friend of mine is hurting so badly and it breaks my heart. She was given the news Wednesday night that her Fiancee was killed in a car accident. She has 2 kids with him and pregnant with their 3rd. My heart hurts for her and their kids. I cannot even imagine the pain she must feel. Her hubby to be was a deputy, he worked at the prison. He was off duty when the accident happened. He was on his motorcycle when a car whipped out in front of him and he T-boned the car. The accident was only a few blocks from my house. Me and Mady were in the kitchen when we heard the accident and I remember saying " wow I wonder what happened" Little did I know it was who it was. I have not gone by the scene, I actually been avoiding it. I take other routes to get where I need to go. From what I hear.. The skid marks are still fresh and motorcycle pieces still cover the road. My friend has gone there, she brought him flowers and layed them where he died at. Then she collapsed. She is 3 months pregnant and her other 2 children are under 5. She told their son that daddy rode his motorcycle to heaven. They are too young to grasp such a permanent thing. The Lee county Sheriff department will pay for his funeral and pay his fiancee for a year his regular salary. It's really a generous gesture, So many people have come together to help her out. It's so unreal for her. She believes he will still walk through their front door.
I wish that was so. On Tuesday he left her a beautiful voicemail. He told her that he loves her and that she is beautiful and he loves their life together, how perfect things are. I am glad she has that to listen too.
This really puts everything in perspective. One day everything can be gone. There is no guarantee for tomorrow.
I love my life, I love my husband and our children and everyone else in my life. I couldn't imagine not having them in my life, My friends situation has opened my eyes. I need to love the ones in my life and not hold on to stupid stuff. Never go to bed mad and always cherish the moments we do get with each other.
I'm sure if we were to ask those who lost someone so close to them, they would all say they wish they could have hugged them one last time. So tonight go hug those who are dear to you, let that someone know how much they mean to you. Cause you can be here one minute and gone the next.
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
Has anyone ever grew up with someone in their life who was into folklore? I have.
From sageing the house to rid of negative energy, sweeping, not to clean but to again, rid the house of negative energy. Tying red ribbon on the bed for protection. Sea Salt to rid the house of paranormal intruders, Money cakes, friendship cakes, rabbit foots, dream pillows and candles, lots of candles for different needs. I was taught some rituals here and there. Never mess with any ones free will ( that is a whole other blog in its self!) One thing that sticks out the most is necklace work ( pendulum ) At a young age I was told I would have a girl then a boy. It never really meant anything to me, but as I got older all these lessons were coming back into play. Old traditions, superstitions, colors and their meanings. Little signs here and there. Well just for fun I would pull out the necklace to see if my fate had changed. Never once did. Always the same result. One girl then one boy.
I started doing this reading for friends and people who already had kids, just to see if it was accurate. When I was in hair school my whole class had me do their readings. One girl in particular sticks out. The necklace predicted, boy, girl, boy, girl, girl. I wasn't so sure this reading was right. Only to find out that's exactly how many kids she had in that precise order!!! She was impressed, I was impressed. Once I had my children, I had realized how right the pendulum was! So now whenever a Friend is pregnant my first reaction is to go to the necklace!!
Here's how to do it. Take a necklace or a pendulum that is special to you, filled with your energy. Hold the necklace by the clasp that way the pendent or pendulum is able to swing. Tap it in the palm of the other hand 3 times then close your hand over the necklace and send your energy through it. Lightly lift the necklace and let it do its thing. If it swings in a circle, its a girl. Line its a boy. Make sure to give it enough time. It may do a circle for a while then stop and pick back up with another circle or a line. You will know when its done. It will not swing anymore! Have fun with it, let me know what your results are!!!
Monday, January 10, 2011
My pregnancy was similar to my pregnancy with Mady.. No morning sickness, no cravings, 35 pound weight gain. The only real difference was I felt Colten moving all the time. It didn't matter if it was morning, noon or night.. I would joke and say " Man when does this boy stop?" When it was time for Colten to arrive, I met my goal in having a natural child birth. I went into labor July 17th at 11:45am and after walking, laboring in the tub and a quick few minutes on the ball Colten was born at 3:47pm . Instantly the midwife picked up on his birth defect and announced something was wrong with my baby. I didn't care, He's perfect to me!!
He didn't cry much in the hospital. They let us all go home 24 hours after Colten was born. I was kinda scared to be honest. Colten hadn't pee'd yet and it was nearly time to go home. He had to have an ultrasound the next day cause of his birth defect. Hypospadias and chrodee. His kidneys were enlarged. I knew they were going to be, I kept telling the nurse he hadn't pee'd since he was born. We had to meet with the urologist, we chose the best one in FL, he is 2 hours away. Once we met with him he told us Colten's condition was worse then what they told us it was when he was first born. Colten needs mandatory surgery before he is a year. Finding all this out when your little one is only a few days old was an emotion overload.
Everyone comes out of the wood works with stories of a friend of a friends baby who had to have surgery at a young age. It's not the same trust me!! It was not reassuring to hear of these stories of people they knew through the grapevine. Colten's surgery is going to be very invasive, very detailed.. very long. They need to reconstruct his whole penis. His urethra is located on the shaft. They will close that hole up and make him a new functioning urethra on the head of the penis where it should have been. They will also break the bend so that it may be straight.
All this scares me, the what ifs. What if my baby doesn't wake up after surgery, what if the surgery fails and he needs another one, what if I mess up his home care and he gets an infection.. The what ifs really kill.
I am a realist, a planner so I have to have to have the what ifs that way if one of those arise I have already thought about it and have had a plan for it.
Colten's personality is that of someone never content. I always wonder if he's uncomfortable and that's why he is so moody, I don't think that's the case. From day 2 people would ask me if he's "colic" I was always defensive and would yell " Go do your research, colic doesnt arise till they are at least 2 weeks"
The days went on and the fussing was more and more intense. One day in particular he screamed for 12 hours. 8am to 8pm. He did fall asleep twice in that 12 hours but only for about 10 minutes each time. I was desperate. From that day on I cut out all dairy, It had to be an allergy, it had to be something. This is not normal. After 8 days dairy free I did start to see an improvement. He was more consolable when he would get in his screaming fits. Before nothing helped him. I sadly did not reach my goal for breastfeeding. I only made it to 4.5 months. I was cutting out so much stuff , Colten was like a roller coaster and whenever he had a bad day I would obsess over what I had eaten and he must have had a reaction. It was a hard choice. I grieved for a while and every now and then would try to get him to latch on but he wanted nothing to do with the breast anymore. Colten dropped down to the 20% in weight. I blamed myself. I was barely eating a thing and exclusively breast feeding. the Dr's thought it was better to introduce soy as well. So that was that.
Colten is almost 6 months and they say "colic" goes away around 5 months. I never really labeled Colten as "colic" but whatever it is isn't going away. Colten never cared for his swing, bouncy chair, car seat, or play mats. He hates being rocked, he will squirm and arch his back if you try to cuddle with him. From an early age the only way he would let anyone hold him is facing outwards. If you face him inwards he will head butt you and squirm. Its hard finding things to do with him to help him reach milestones cause he will fuss if he's left any certain way for too long. Up until 4 days ago my 5 month old was still being swaddled. We broke that cold turkey. He had a fever and swaddling him made the fever rise. I wasn't sure if him being swaddled so much had anything to do with him not rolling over. Well only 4 days unswaddled and hes rolling all over the place.
People tell me to let him cry it out. There is no end near when Colten gets in his moods. I honestly believe he can go on for days. He looks at you too while screaming just to make sure you are watching him. He even cracks a smile or two while fussing but he wont stop fussing. If you leave him be he escalates. I realized attending to him and getting his mind on something else works best. So no crying it out in this house! It would drive me mad to listen to him cry all day. A few days ago he wouldn't stop fussing when I sat him down, I yelled " STOP ALREADY" and he stoped fussing, his bottom lip came out he held his breath and tears starting flying. I broke his heart, then instantly my heart shattered and we were both crying. I have been researching autism in babies. From what I read they are extremely calm and don't make eye contact. Like I mentioned before, Colten watches you when he fusses to make sure you are paying attention!! Calm, whats that??? Even when Colten is "calm" he's moving an arm or leg!!! He can't sit still.
I cant imagine the toddler he will become. All I picture is back arching, throwing himself down, screaming at the top of his lungs in publix. It matches his personality now. I'm terrified. I have a high needs baby. A different breed. Life is so different with Colten in it. I wouldn't trade him in for anything. I am learning patience, I eat at home all the time now, we would be crazy to bring him to a restaurant. Ive learned how to cook all these different meals, Ive learned how to get the house clean while wearing Colten. Matt and I are actually thriving in our marriage. This situation could break someone, not us! I find it humorous and amusing. We have been handed a lot with with Mady's disease, some deaths in the family, Matt's PTSD from the military, Colten's birth defect and the upcoming surgery, My mom's drug addiction So a fussy baby seems like nothing! If Colten wasn't so fussy I may have no reason to get out of bed everyday. Colten keeps me alive. When things get overwhelming we go for a walk, we soak up the sun!
Having a high needs baby is challenging, tiring, One day one thing works and then the next day it doesn't work. Colten is here and he's ready to go. He waits for no one! Eager to learn and frustrated with slow results. So here's to in demand babies!!! A special type of baby!
Saturday, January 8, 2011
Hi! My name is Madyson Jane Sorenson! I am 6 years old and in the first grade! I am the jokester of the family. My teachers call me a social butterfly. being social is my best trait that often gets me in trouble. I don't take life too seriously cause when I was only 1 I almost lost my life. I see the beauty in everything. That old stray dog running down the street, weeds in the yard to an old coin on the sidewalk. I appreciate everything. I am a big sister, My baby brother is my best friend. I am a type 1 diabetic. I get 4 shots a day plus 8 finger pokes. They don't slow me down one bit. I don't want my brother to be diabetic like I am but I don't want him to have candy all the time either! I have a big sweet tooth but I think its cause I know I cant have it. My favorite things are food, family, friends and playing wildly outside. I also love to put on one of my moms dresses and dance around the house. I don't care who See's me. I'm not shy at all. Well I got to go. My chicken nuggets are done!!!
Friday, January 7, 2011
Thursday, January 6, 2011
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Some people say that this is a sign that the end is near. 2012. The real to be "y2k". Or this indicates Christ is coming.. Which baffles me cause being a girl who grew up in a baptist private school, I remember clearly the bible saying No one knows when the second coming is, he will come like a thief in the night... killing a bunch of birds isn't very discreet. A little dramatic if you ask me.
You can really have fun with this topic.. Such as maybe it was my husband, he is terrified of birds ( in all honesty) So offing 5000 birds wouldn't be to far fetched.. Ok, maybe it is kinda far fetched but its a thought!
Or I'm sure it's either George Bush or Obama's fault... Maybe they even teamed up. Conspiracy theory?? Whats another Ive read.. Oh yeah! UFOs.. That's got to be it, duh!! Ok dead bird mystery solved!
I'm sure weather,aircraft, pollution and fireworks could not be the answer, not even a option.. People are extreme and would rather want something elaborate. I researched the area and there is a power plant near where all these birds were found dead... Wonder if that has been ruled out.
How smart do you feel now!!!
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
So besides all that, I simply had no idea what to make my first blog about. It's the first one, where do I start? Do I start off with my life, something funny, something controversial... I just don't know.
I guess I am using my first blog to explain why I haven't written my first blog. Hmmm??
On another note, I had to take Colten to the Dr's today to find out his diagnoses since I clearly knew he was sick. I didn't get to see his regular doctor, they hired a new Dr to help the one man show ( which I think is great, one man running the whole thing with thousands of patients has to be hard) It was a woman Dr Dana Crater. I am beside myself with the care she gave my lil man. She was amazing with him. Clearly a mother herself. so nurturing. I felt this was kinda lost from the Dr my kids "normally" see. My daughter has been with this Dr for about 4 years, I wonder if its wrong to only see this new Dr now.. I really liked her. I hope she never loses her compassion.
I have such a passion for childbirth, I had both my kids epidural free. I also practiced labouring in the tub. I would love to help women reach their childbirth goals. Its hard work but with the hand of someone nurturing, patient and knows what you are going through it is way more achievable. My midwife was with me from the time I went into labour till way after Colten was born. We sat in the tub, we bounced on a ball, we rotated positions a million times and she was with me every second. If I didn't have that I would have given up. I want to be that for someone else. I want them to always have that soft spot for the person who held their hand in the most time of need, Its truly the mother doing all the work and it is hard!!!!
Well due to this sinus infection my head feels bloated and airy at the same time. I need to rest. Welcome to blog!!!! .